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Posts
149
Comments
3412
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • Why dream when it can be recorded for you!

  • Let’s end this argument by you telling us where your line is on what people are allowed to steal to survive. Because that’s all this argument is about.

  • I’ve never seen anyone steal food, and I never will. Diapers either.

  • Yeah, how much did you lose?

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Man Who Bet Lindsey Grahm’s Death Wouldn’t Involve Gay Sex Say He Plans to Retire

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Use of a Bidet Legally Defined as Illegal Sex Act by Texas State House

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Republicans Drop AI Mitch McConnell Avatar After it Tries to Pass Healthcare Reform

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    Permanently Deleted

    Jump
  • A flower would also be acceptable.

  • That’s not what your mom said.

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    New Democratic “Your Mom” Talking Points Throwing Republicans in Turmoil

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Seeing Eye Cat Program to Close Following Third Death in First Week

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Trump Vows to Keep Ending Iran War Until There is Peace

  • This must be that non-consensual himdie I keep hearing about.

  • Contact the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) and they can probably help point him to a group interested.

  • That’s ridiculous, that would lead to mass unemployment in the funeral industry.

  • Small typo, it’s “half of a Chihuahua.”

  • For the military, think about Amazon. They can get you a new dildo tomorrow because they have a huge infrastructure of warehouses around the country. The US has a world network of “supplies” for war that will be reduced and create more risk and a time delay if US interests are threatened. In practical terms, you don’t punch an American because America can punch you back tomorrow. If the US maybe can punch you back next week, you’re less concerned with ignoring their interests.

    Practically, the local economies will hurt badly, like the Philippines after they reduced the US navel presence. There is also a “living next to a cop” effect that has had more value in the past, but has soured like the idea of living next to a cop.

    For the US, we would now need to house all these troops locally, and would end up greatly reducing force size over 20 years. A big pile of active tanks training in Germany doesn’t get much news, but a bunch of expensive tanks training next to a huge line at a soup kitchen is a great photo op.

  • Add a gorilla-sized bullet proof vest to that order.

  • Laser-guided bath bombs.

  • I was roommates with Dr. Funk.

  • If you are and you admit it, you’ll get more grace from intelligent people. Sometimes.

  • Can anyone read this comment? It won’t load for me.

  • I once was taking a nice old man to the hospital, when he stopped breathing. I gave him a second and tried to rouse him, and he was pretty stubborn about it, but he still had a weak pulse. I called to my partner.

    “Hey, how close are we to the hospital?”

    “About 5 minutes, why?”

    “Well, he’s not breathing. So if you hit any traffic, hit the lights, will you?”

    I bagged him for about 3-4 minutes. Traffic was light, and we were making pretty good time, so we decided not to freak anybody out. The guy came to, and looked confused.

    “What happened,” he asked.

    “You stopped breathing, so I was breathing for you.”

    “Oh. Thank you.”

    “You are very welcome.”

    He’s still the only person who ever said thank you when I tried to save their life.

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Trump Administration Allowing Americans to Vote on the Next Invasion

  • I’m just one, simple man with his crystal ball and a knife with virgin blood on it.

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    AI Stocks Soar as Developers Add Blockchain Support

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Police Officer Injured in Luigi Mangioni Case as 3 Boxes of Women’s Underwear Fall Off Shelf

  • Roberts should just accept that his court is one of the three pillars in the collapse of the US into a middle power in the next 25 years.

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Doritos Gains Coveted Naming Rights for Next 60 Days of Iran War

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Republicans Becoming Concerned Six Wars Off the Table for 2026

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    White House Pivoting to Epstein Files as Iran Situation Worsens

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    In Clear Message to White House, Barack Obama Awarded the Nobel Prize for Soccer

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Supreme Court Rules Pentagon’s New “Drone from Home” Program is Legal, Pilots not Soldiers

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    IDF to Reduce Bombings in Iran Until More Hospitals are Built

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Trump Announces Democrats Are Sending Troops Into Iran

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    As Iran War Worsens, Democratic Strategists Struggle to Find Path to Lose Midterms

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    As Fuel Crisis Worsens, TSA Begins Allowing Americans to Bring Gasoline With Them on Flights

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Netflix Adds $10 Million Legal Settlement With Trump to Warner Bros Takeover Offer